Monday, March 18, 2013

I've been doing really good for a while, but right now I need someone to lay with me and hold me while I break down





















New book

I just started reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower and I am on page two and I've already found a quote I love.

"So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be."



Monday, March 11, 2013

Answer honestly

Another set of questions from tumblr

Have you ever:
1. Self harmed? YES
2. Got into a real fight? NOT A PHYSICAL ONE
3. Been too depressed to move out of your bed? YES
4. Tried to commit suicide? NO BUT THOUGHT ABOUT IT
5. Had to lie to everyone about how you felt? YES
6. Watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting? YES. GOSSIP GIRL AND PLL
7. Talked yourself out of serious trouble? PRETTY MUCH
8. Accused someone of using you? IDK
9. Shoplifted? I DONT THINK SO
10. Gotten drunk/high? NOT REALLY
11. Been to a concert where your favorite artist was playing? BEEN TO A RASCAL FLATTS CONCERT. I REALLY LIKE THEM.
12. Skipped doing homework to play a video game? NOT TO PLAY VIDEO GAMES, BUT I SKIP IT FOR NO REASON

(Right now) are you:
13. Suicidal? NO
14. Bored? NOT REALLY
15. Avoiding someone? NO
16. Avoiding some task? NO
17. Depressed? NO
18. Crying? NO
19. Annoyed with a friend. NO
20. Worried and confused about something important to you? NO

Do you:
21. Get depressed easily? YES
22. Get jealous/envious easily? NOT REALLY
23. Feel listening to music can take your mind off things? DEPENDS ON THE MUSIC. SOME DOES, SOME MAKES YOU THINK MORE.
24. Worry about messing about your relationships a lot? NO. PROBABLY NOT ENOUGH.
25. Try hard in all your classes at school? NOPE
26. Go out drinking? NO. NOT OLD ENOUGH.
27. Smoke cigarettes. NO. GROSS.
28. Smoke weed? NO
29. Do any hard drugs? NO
30. DELETED
31. Believe in God/ belong to a religion of your own free will? SORTA
32. Avoid people you care about because you feel you will only hurt them? NO. BECAUSE THEY'LL HURT ME
33. Agree that self harm numbs emotional pain? IT REDIRECTS PAIN
34. Believe people deserve second chances? YES
35. Agree with "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth"? IDK
36. Think things will get better? YES. HAVE HOPE.
37. Feel afraid that you have done wrong and will eventually be punished? IDK
38. Do you judge people who think differently to you? NOT REALLY

Preference in boyfriend/girlfriend:
39. Long hair or short hair? IN THE MIDDLE
40. DELETED
41. DELETED
42. Shy or open? OPEN. VERY.
43. Eyes or body? BODY
44. Religious or non-religious? DOESN'T MATTER TO ME AS LONG AS THEY'RE ACCEPTING
45. Caring or non-restricting of you? BOTH
46. Straight edge or non-straight edge? IDK WHAT THIS QUESTION MEANS
47. Piercings or no piercings? NONE PROBABLY
48. Tattoos or no tattoos? TATTOOS BUT NOT MANY.
49. Quiet stay-at-home type or party type? IN THE MIDDLE
50. Has friends you get along with or has parents you get along with? PARENTS

Would you:
51. Drink alcohol until you were drunk? YEAH
52. Smoke weed? IN THE CONFINES OF MY OWN HOME WITH CLOSE FRIENDS
53. Smoke cigarettes. NO
54. Get even with someone who betrayed you? IDK. I FORGIVE TO EASILY
55. Forgive a boyfriend who deeply hurt you? YES. DONE IT.
56. Attempt to kill yourself if everything fails you? IDK
57. Keep your faith no matter what? NO
58. Join a band as a part time activity? NOT REALLY
59. Feel sorry for someone who is being affected negatively from alcohol/drug abuse? YES
60. Stand up for your beliefs if someone strongly goes against them? YES
61. Go vegetarian for a month to see what is was like. ABSOLUTELY
62. Fight someone who was harassing your friends/family? NOT PHYSICALLY. THAT WOULDN'T HELP ANYTHING, IM TOO SMALL.
63. Edit photos of yourself before posting them online? NAH, WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET
64. Put up with friends who constantly hated against something you believed in/supported? PROBABLY NOT
65. Be friends with someone who was nice to you, but a cunt to other people? YEAH. AS LONG AS WE GET ALONG.
66. Not like someone simply because your friends didn't like them? YEAH FOR THE MOST PART. WE ARE ONE!
67. Lie to someone close to you because you don't want them to have to put up with your problems? YES. DONE IT.
68. Starve yourself do you fit some certain clothes? NO. ONLY IF I WANT TO FIT INTO CHILDREN'S CLOTHES HAHA
69. Get surgery on any part of you? If yes then which part of you? YES A BOOB JOB.
70. Sleep naked? THAT'S WEIRD